I have a black dot still marking
the tip of my nail on my left index finger. It marks the day when I insisted on
taking leave from a heavy work week to travel to Mumbai and cast my vote
against Modi. My vote was not especially in favour of another candidate, for
like the rest of the country I too have lost faith in the Congress and can’t
bring myself to trust the unpredictable AAP. There was only one thing I trusted
and that was my gut instinct that voting for a religious right autocrat to
steer a secular country feels like asking for trouble.
Yet, the mood of almost everyone
else was clearly opposite. I heard countless arguments against my weak idealism
and while no one was able to defend or completely excuse what happened in
Gujarat under Modi’s leadership, I heard a lot of practical rationalizations – from
‘what choice do we have’ to ‘we need a strong leader’. Never mind the possibility
that this strength may not be used where we want it or even that it may well be used
against us.
As democracy trumped my
individual opinion with a stronger referendum than expected – I felt a fervent
wish to be proved wrong. If early indicators continue the trend, it looks as if
this wish too will be unfulfilled:
- No check on communal attacks: Modi has maintained silence on incidents such as the lynching of a Muslim youth in Pune and Shiv Sena’s Vichare force-feeding a Muslim cook during Ramzan. While he is quiet, miscellaneous BJP loud speakers are vociferously attempting to defend the indefensible.
- Fanning communal flames in UP: A much ado about a single temple bell may be enough to trigger riots afresh. BJP conveniently does not claim responsibility for governance in UP but this irresponsible behavior will have repercussions across the country.
- Government apathy on continuing incidents of rape: No concrete steps have been taken to improve women’s safety as yet, despite fresh horrors being reported every day. Police apathy and even interference continue in both filing reports and taking action.
- Provocative, ill-informed actions & comments: BJP and BJP supporters are crawling out to stir controversy on everything from Hafeez Sayeed to teaching VHP propaganda in Government schools to insulting women and minorities.
Manmohan Singh’s silence was
interpreted as a sign of weakness and inability to act. Modi’s silence seems more
dangerous. It’s not a stretch to think that he not only intends to allow such
divisiveness but also that he tacitly endorses it.
It’s heartening that the media is
loud in condemning and calling out the government. But in the midst of this
distraction, I’d like to ask all those who supported Modi, if they have got what
they wanted. My idealism was perhaps never going to be realized but what of
their more practical and realistic expectations? Is communalism going to create
a good environment for businesses and the economy to prosper? Is misogyny and
the fear for women’s safety going to bring down the sky-rocketing vegetable
prices? Is further divisiveness within the country going to improve our
external security?
Every time I catch a glimpse of the fading
black dot on my finger, I remember Nikos Kazantzakis’ eloquence in Zorba the
Greek, “As for me, I often forget, I disparage myself, I lose my way, my faith
is a mosaic of unbelief. Sometimes I feel I should like to make a bargain: to
live one brief minute and give my life in exchange. But you keep a firm hold on
the helm and you never forget, even in the sweetest moments of this life,
towards which destination you have set your course.”
We have handed Modi & the BJP
the helm of our future but will we like the destination they have set course
for? Will we find that we have put too much at stake on a gamble, sacrificing
both conscience and country for a glimmer of gold that may well turn out to be an illusion?
Mr. Modi, I’m still hoping that
you will prove me wrong.
