I’m usually a champion of individual freedom. Most of us like to think we are! I believe that everyone should have the right of choice – to choose how they live, what they do, how they talk & interact with other people, whom they vote for, what products to buy and use….etc.
But this benevolent attitude to the freedoms of other people is quick to end the second someone lights a cigarette/cigar/pipe/beedi/agarbatti/whatever. I’m allergic to smoke and suffer from unending hayfever if I’m exposed to second or third hand smoke (I don’t smoke, so first hand smoke is moot). And I freely admit it – I’m quite prejudiced towards smokers.
As much as I claim to respect the freedom of others, I strongly resent it when this freedom allows them to cause me pain. When it comes to smoking, I wish I could control smokers so that they never lit up in my presence or subjected me to smoky breath when they’re back from a smoke break. As for the neighbor who smokes in his bathroom such that the smoke ends up in mine, nothing less than a straight-jacket & restraining order would do!
It’s a fine line of balance but we all have our triggers. We are happy to allow others to exercise freedom until it crosses our own line of tolerance and then we’re suddenly all for control over individual freedom. Think about it….there may be at least one instance when you have wished you could control someone else’s actions…the neighbor who plays music too loud, the taxi drivers who cut lanes recklessly, the domineering aunty who cuts ahead of you in the supermarket queue, the kids who snigger and talk through the movie in a theatre….feel free to add your particular triggers to the list.
Democracy is about balancing individual freedoms versus collective control. Many people seem particularly good at practicing the former themselves and preaching the latter to others around them! When it comes to smoking, I do the same – since I don’t smoke myself, I don’t understand how difficult it is to control. How would I feel if someone tried to control my behavior similarly? There’s a good chance, I wouldn’t like it at all!
So where do we draw the line?
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Saturday, July 17, 2010
DISABLE OR ENABLE?
This wonderful, awe-inspiring talk by Aimee Mullins, an athlete/actor/model/activist, teaches us that the only true disability that can truly afflict us is one of the spirit. As she says, “adversity isn't an obstacle that we need to get around in order to resume living our life. It's part of our life.”
Aimee’s talk makes me feel ashamed of all the times in my life, when I have said ‘I can’t.’ I realize now that what I was really saying was, ‘I don’t want to try.’ But her larger message is even starker – for our words affect not just ourselves and our abilities but also others and their abilities. How many times have we told someone else that they are not capable/that they should not try to do something? How many times have we said this to our children?
Neurologist and psychiatrist, Victor Frankl survived the holocaust with his idealism & sense of humour intact. In the talk below, he too strives to teach us why we must allow ourselves to believe the best of others, encouraging them to truly believe in their better selves and live out this belief.
When we accept our influence on not just how we choose to live our lives but also on the choices and lives of the people around us, we have an important decision to make. Should we ‘disable’ or ‘enable’ ourselves and others?
Thursday, July 8, 2010
DAY OR NIGHT
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This is my favourite painting – "Impression, Sunrise" by Claude Monet. I don’t know much about art but I do know that I appreciate creative work not for what it is or is intended to be but for what it makes me feel. And this painting makes me feel that delicious melancholy which comes with my favourite time of day.
Sunrise or sunset, the sadness of a final closing blurring with the excitement of a new beginning is a unique sensation. It makes me feel a little incomplete, a little uncertain but is reassuring all the same because it’s a signal to move on. The sun waits for no one and we must rush to catch up with it’s emerging or fading light.
It’s also a moment that always gives me pause. For a brief few seconds, I enjoy a larger perspective where my small concerns and efforts don’t register. I’m so insignificant in the magnificent nature of the Universe that I can only be awed and inspired. Yet, the moment passes and the grind of life returns, where I’m at the centre and must try to achieve my own significance.
What a beautiful contradiction!
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
I’M ONLY HAPPY WHEN IT RAINS
Yes, I know this is the title of a song by Garbage :) It’s a song I’ve always loved and like anyone who’s ever loved a song, I feel that this one could have been written about me.
It’s raining chaos in Bombay…quite literally! The monsoons are here and like every one of the past 30+ years, we are again not prepared. So, while the rain has brought a much-welcome respite from the unrelenting heat, it’s also dredged up a whole other list of things we can complain of instead. Like the drains being shut so the roads can flood or road repairs which have inconveniently just started or the trains standing still after half an hour’s rain or the roads being congested after an hour’s pouring….not to mention the mud, dirt, sniffles and sneezing coming around!
Yet, there’s also something quite uplifting about a good rainy day, ok – especially if we have the good fortune to be indoors. It changes the complexion of the city, making the grey look dreamy instead of grimy, the breeze refreshing instead of humid and the mad rain dances of street urchins and tourists never fail to make you smile.
Or maybe it’s just the nostalgia that makes me feel like a truant school child wishing for an unexpected holiday!
It’s raining chaos in Bombay…quite literally! The monsoons are here and like every one of the past 30+ years, we are again not prepared. So, while the rain has brought a much-welcome respite from the unrelenting heat, it’s also dredged up a whole other list of things we can complain of instead. Like the drains being shut so the roads can flood or road repairs which have inconveniently just started or the trains standing still after half an hour’s rain or the roads being congested after an hour’s pouring….not to mention the mud, dirt, sniffles and sneezing coming around!
Yet, there’s also something quite uplifting about a good rainy day, ok – especially if we have the good fortune to be indoors. It changes the complexion of the city, making the grey look dreamy instead of grimy, the breeze refreshing instead of humid and the mad rain dances of street urchins and tourists never fail to make you smile.
Or maybe it’s just the nostalgia that makes me feel like a truant school child wishing for an unexpected holiday!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
THE PRICE OF PASSION
We’ve all heard of the struggling artist, the struggling writer…how many have heard of the struggling investment banker? (Well, apart from those who may have been laid off by the recession!)
When a person pursues money blatantly through his/her work, it’s understood, celebrated and yes, rewarded. However, if the same person were to pursue work for any other reason, his passion is commended yet it’s quickly pointed out that he/she may not expect any kind of financial reward.
Why is this?
Is the pursuit of a passion considered reward enough?
Or is it necessary that money and passion may not be found together?
Consider Bollywood as an example. Commercial viability and critical acclaim are almost mutually exclusive. Shahrukh Khan may sell many films but even with a few acclaimed performances, he is considered a ‘star’ rather than an ‘actor’. To qualify as an artist, he would need to regularly feature in those obscure ‘art films’ which almost never do well commercially.
In other industries too, candidates in job interviews are put on trial to demonstrate their passion – this is a requisite to making an impression and performing well in the interview, of course, but it is also a guarantee that the salary will never meet expectations! As someone once told me, ‘I want to hire someone who is motivated by passion, not by money.”
Well, I agree that you cannot put a price on passion. But does that mean that passion shouldn’t ever be rewarded?
When a person pursues money blatantly through his/her work, it’s understood, celebrated and yes, rewarded. However, if the same person were to pursue work for any other reason, his passion is commended yet it’s quickly pointed out that he/she may not expect any kind of financial reward.
Why is this?
Is the pursuit of a passion considered reward enough?
Or is it necessary that money and passion may not be found together?
Consider Bollywood as an example. Commercial viability and critical acclaim are almost mutually exclusive. Shahrukh Khan may sell many films but even with a few acclaimed performances, he is considered a ‘star’ rather than an ‘actor’. To qualify as an artist, he would need to regularly feature in those obscure ‘art films’ which almost never do well commercially.
In other industries too, candidates in job interviews are put on trial to demonstrate their passion – this is a requisite to making an impression and performing well in the interview, of course, but it is also a guarantee that the salary will never meet expectations! As someone once told me, ‘I want to hire someone who is motivated by passion, not by money.”
Well, I agree that you cannot put a price on passion. But does that mean that passion shouldn’t ever be rewarded?
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
THE WRITER WHO DOES NOT WRITE
I always wanted to be a writer – as a child it seemed like such a fun thing to do and as I grew up the attraction grew….even as I realized that this profession has its own custom-built excuse for goofing off. After all, whether we admit it or not, the attraction of work is not just in and of itself but also when there’s a chance of some respite from it. This is the added value perk of any profession (and I’m sure every profession does have at least one!)
For writing (and also for pretty much any creative pursuit), one needs to be inspired. There is no formula/framework for inspiration – the creative philosophy is to explore/do whatever works. This leaves room for expressing individual idiosyncrasies and exercising creativity in the very pursuit of creativity. Sometimes, sadly, despite efforts to the contrary, inspiration does not strike.
For a writer, this is the dreaded curse of writer’s block. Or is it? Hmmm……
I’m not saying writer’s block is not real! It’s just that there’s no way to tell the difference…even for the writer him/herself. Take me for example…I haven’t updated this blog for a while. I didn’t have a justifiable reason for this. Yes, my regular work does keep me busy, but I was busy too when I started this blog. I didn’t use work as an excuse then, did I?
So, what’s my excuse now? When all else fails, I fall back to blaming writer’s block! Is there anything worse than a writer who does not write?
For writing (and also for pretty much any creative pursuit), one needs to be inspired. There is no formula/framework for inspiration – the creative philosophy is to explore/do whatever works. This leaves room for expressing individual idiosyncrasies and exercising creativity in the very pursuit of creativity. Sometimes, sadly, despite efforts to the contrary, inspiration does not strike.
For a writer, this is the dreaded curse of writer’s block. Or is it? Hmmm……
I’m not saying writer’s block is not real! It’s just that there’s no way to tell the difference…even for the writer him/herself. Take me for example…I haven’t updated this blog for a while. I didn’t have a justifiable reason for this. Yes, my regular work does keep me busy, but I was busy too when I started this blog. I didn’t use work as an excuse then, did I?
So, what’s my excuse now? When all else fails, I fall back to blaming writer’s block! Is there anything worse than a writer who does not write?
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
AIR TRAVEL – BLESSING OR STRESSING?
Air travel has changed the way that we live, work and holiday. Think about it the next time you travel – if your journey took about five times longer, what would you differently?
For one, you might plan better. You would make sure that everything /everybody you wanted to visit was available well in advance and that you had time to cover everything. And for another, you would clear everything else from your schedule – no multitasking or planning to be available for anything else. And since you would be essentially ‘captive’ for the hours/days of traveling, you might actually reach your destination well-rested!
Air travel was supposed to be a blessing. But what happened? Since it’s quick, we can do it last-minute without foresight or detailed planning – sometimes, even cutting the time so close that we’re racked by anxiety! Also, we see no need to clear our schedules because we feel we can always attend to a few calls or e-mails (for the Blackberry addicts). And given all of the above plus the extensive security screenings and inevitable delays, I find few things more stressful than air travel.
Every time I do a one day trip by air to another city, I’m exhausted. I usually have to take an early morning flight and return by the red eye. Add to that the one to two hours I spend at the airport, standing in queues, going through security minus my shoes, belt & laptop, and simply waiting because of delays that are announced in only fifteen minute intervals. If that’s not exhausting enough – what about the hour or so it takes to drive to & from the airport? And the probability is that that during all of this, I’m usually attending to other things on the phone.
Having speeded up our lives, we are all reluctant to slow down. So, we probably won’t revert to slower modes of travel. But could we at least TRY to separate some of the stress from the blessing?
For one, you might plan better. You would make sure that everything /everybody you wanted to visit was available well in advance and that you had time to cover everything. And for another, you would clear everything else from your schedule – no multitasking or planning to be available for anything else. And since you would be essentially ‘captive’ for the hours/days of traveling, you might actually reach your destination well-rested!
Air travel was supposed to be a blessing. But what happened? Since it’s quick, we can do it last-minute without foresight or detailed planning – sometimes, even cutting the time so close that we’re racked by anxiety! Also, we see no need to clear our schedules because we feel we can always attend to a few calls or e-mails (for the Blackberry addicts). And given all of the above plus the extensive security screenings and inevitable delays, I find few things more stressful than air travel.
Every time I do a one day trip by air to another city, I’m exhausted. I usually have to take an early morning flight and return by the red eye. Add to that the one to two hours I spend at the airport, standing in queues, going through security minus my shoes, belt & laptop, and simply waiting because of delays that are announced in only fifteen minute intervals. If that’s not exhausting enough – what about the hour or so it takes to drive to & from the airport? And the probability is that that during all of this, I’m usually attending to other things on the phone.
Having speeded up our lives, we are all reluctant to slow down. So, we probably won’t revert to slower modes of travel. But could we at least TRY to separate some of the stress from the blessing?
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